Part 3: The Duality Of Love

In a world of self-preservation, the love of Jesus goes the other way

Photo by: Young Yi

This newsletter is the third part of this week’s series, “To Give Your Life Away”, where I write about how the Gospel of Jesus offers a better invitation than some current cultural ideas and mantras on how to improve your life.

If you enjoyed this series and would like me to write on a certain topic, please let me know in the comment section of this post. Thanks for reading!

The “Telos” or “End/Completion” of the Christian Life

A little over a year ago, I stepped away from pastoral ministry for a season because my life was literally falling apart. I had to contend for the first time in my short ministry career that perhaps pastoring was not in the cards for me.

Truthfully, I had a bit of an identity and a quarter-ish life crisis.

I was meeting with a pastor who shared with me a simple and yet profound truth that liberated me from a growing anxiety.

He said, “Young, the end goal of the Christian is not to be a pastor, but to simply be more like Jesus Christ.”

It’s such a simple truth … but it was like a glass of ice cold lemonade on a scorching day, or a warm bowl of pho on a wintery Michigan evening.

Those words were disarming and comforting.

That stark reminder, “the goal of the Christian is to become more like Jesus”, is what we are all called to be like, for those who apprentice under Jesus.

Or as John Mark Comer says, we are called, “To become a person of agape (unconditional) love”.

Matthew 16:24 - “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.’”

Here’s the hard reality check for all of us who would choose to apprentice under Jesus Christ of Nazareth, especially if we have a large following in person and especially on social media: you’re going to have to give your life away.

But this isn’t just for the megachurch pastor that’s hard. It’s also difficult in it’s own unique way for the everyday stay-at-home mom, the college student, the high schooler, the “you-fill-in-the-blank”.

If the end goal of the Christian is to be like Jesus, and we take up our cross and follow Him, the end is inevitable: as Christ gave up His life, we too must as well.

Because that’s what love does - it sacrifices.

The Duality of Love

Here’s a quick theology on love:

• Out of the perfect loving community, the Triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) - the Lover, the Beloved, and Love - creates the Cosmos.

• Out of a love for the world, from the perfect loving community of the Triune God, love lays His life down.

This the beautiful duality of love: it creates spectacular and beautiful things, while simultaneously beckons one to lay down their life for another.

If you are a parent and you are reading this, or if you’ve ever loved anyone in your life, you may be familiar with this reality.

The Call of the World: Self-Preserve

The #1 rule of the jungle is self-preservation, whether that is perpetuated by:

• political policy/power; you want your candidate(s) to win.

• financial excess; you want the safety net of money

• personal clout and image; you only want to be seen around certain people

• autonomy; you want control over every facet of your life

Whatever it might be, the invitation Christ gives to those who are curious to follow His Ways involves going the opposite direction of self-preservation, because agape love disrupts self-preservation and requires one to “lay down their life for a friend” (Jn. 15:13).

Ponder these questions when you can:

• Does the way you are being discipled into Christ-likeness involve a practical way to give your life away?

• As you get older, and you realize you can’t take anything with you when you pass, does it lead you to hold onto what is dear or to give away all you have to the people you love?

As this week beings to wind down and come to a close, my prayer for you, my friend, is that Jesus’ love would teach you to give your life away to your friends, families, and even strangers. And that the person you are becoming is not one who looks out primarily for the self, but looks out for the other.

Cheers.